Vancouver Tours Blog

Roommate from Hell or Roommates 101

What does David Beckham’s 250 million dollar contract mean in the simplest terms?

Every time he goes to the washroom, if he takes fifteen minutes; he earns approximately: 1,500 dollars. Which begs the question: How much do you earn for…?

Switching gears: With rising real estate prices, renters have been facing spikes in rent and shrinking vacancy rates. It’s difficult for the average renter to afford to live on their own without making drastic lifestyle changes. One bedroom is now two, two is three, with privacy being cast aside. This is the new reality in Vancouver, as condos shrink — number of occupants increase.

I too began to feel the rent pinch and recently allowed a friend of several years, Bob (named changed), to move in on a temporary basis. At first, the perfect arrangement, opposite work schedules (except for weekends), meant: we were never home at the same time.

Was an opportunity dropping on my lap? A roommate could fund a vacation. Go brain calculator: six months x say, five bills = sunshine. Slow down big boy — you’d be letting someone in — into the inner sanctum.


I’m over twenty-five, and past that age — *roommates, are a ridiculous idea. Okay, thirty, because of inflation. Thirty-five, because it’s Vancouver. After that…

Problems: Accepting other peoples habits. First weekend, my flat-mate crashed for 24 consecutive hours. It freaked me out. When questioned? “I work hard and my body shuts down?”

Five bills led me to justification. Can you evict someone for sleeping?

Second weekend, 84 out of 92 hours of downtime. My cat became angst ridden. I thought of setting up: Dead Guy Cam, sort of along the lines of: Eagle Cam.

When confronted, “I suffer from bouts of depression.” A slight oversight on my nonexistent rent application.

I justified: five bills = white sands.

The following weekend he stayed mostly upright, a positive turn? Until I came home one day and someone had been “entertaining” in my bed. Gross. And, an incredibly well hidden stash of cash, had been violated. White sands will have to wait. Eviction was a necessity. Later I found out that he had a penchant for: CM.

The point: A roommate may be the most married you will ever be. Your relationship will include: guilt, passion, fighting, coexistence, expectations, anxiety and the eventual breakup. All without the sexual benefits. If you started out friends, you may watch that all drift away.

Be careful who you select. Make sure you check references. I was lucky, the locks were changed and it was over.

I wonder: if the Beckhams’ moved into my spare room: would they buy the toilet paper?

*Spouses and children don’t count as roommates.

Source by Lindsay Wincherauk

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